Home is Where Your Heart is

Being home has been so great! I love sleeping in my own bed. Even though it's smaller than the one in Utah. Let's see..Christmas Eve it was just my mom and I at home. We watched A Christmas Story. I'm not sure how I feel about that movie sometimes. Christmas morning I actually slept in until like nine. My brothers woke me up when they got home. I got all the fun stuff for Christmas like socks, gloves, make up, scarfs, lots of hand sanitizer (thank goodness), oh yeah and a droid incredible. :) It's...incredible. I new I was getting a new phone while I was home, but I had no idea I'd get a droid for Christmas. The rest of the day I just sat around until I went with Kelsey. She was house sitting for her boyfriend and didn't want to stay over there alone. We watched Elf then went driving around to see if there was any fast food places open. Nothing but the gas station. When we finally got to the gas station we decided we didn't want anything. So we went home and watched Elf..again. I didn't get any sleep that night because Kyle's house made so many weird noises. It sounded like someone was walking around upstairs all night, so I was pretty tired when I got up at seven the next morning. It was so good going to my own church. I missed everyone so much. After church we went to my aunt Holly's. They got a new dog named, Lewis. He's the cutest dog ever. My uncle Mark cooked steak just for me. What a great man. We stopped by Sadie's on our way back to Delaware. Monday we went out to lunch with my grandpa, had our Christmas with Cory, and went to the mall. I ate at Frisch's Big Boy for the first time. Well, I had a hot fudge sundae. My brother called it big and fresh boys...I've never laughed so hard. Today was quite eventful. I want to the doctor this morning. I'll save the gross ear story for another time, but to sum it up I ended up passing out basically. My doctor thought I was a big baby. But I'm good now! I went to the mall with Mary Kathryn. I love her. Then I went to the zoo lights. I love going to see them, but the whole freezing your butt off part just isn't that great. I've listened to Teenage Dream (the Glee version) at least ten times today. It's been stuck in my head. I just love it. I had a dream last night that I was yelling at Haleigh and Kirsten for not cleaning the house. It was so intense that I texted them this morning apologizing. Oh! I talked to Ali on the phone for awhile today. She's so cute. I love being at home, but I'm kind of ready to go back to Utah. It's not as cold there because the air is dry. And Ohio is so boring without the mountains. If I'm not listening to Teenage Dream, I'm listening to Just a Dream. I love that song too. "Trying to get my Usher on, but I can't let it burn." I love that..how punny. I bought two things of my favorite lip gloss today. They were only five bucks instead of 7.50. Seeing people at the mall from Hayes today was seriously just awkward. Not a fan. I have a feeling tonight is going to be one of those nights where I just can't fall asleep. At the moment I'm not tired at all and it's already 12:30. I keep looking at my clock and it's Utah time, so I just got so confused. I'm going to sleep my life away tomorrow. I don't have anything do to. 

Home Sweet Home

I've been home for a day now. The plane rides ended up not being too bad yesterday. When I got to the airport my mom, brothers, and Cory were there to pick me up. My mom cried all the way from the airport to our house. Apparently tears of joy. We went to Chipotle on the way home. I was so happy, I'd been craving it. I was so happy to get home. I ran around my house and sat in my bed and looked through all the stuff I forgot I had. My brother took over half my stuff. I had a fit the first five minutes I was home because my brother had my stereo out in the garage. I made him bring it in ASAP. My stereo was one of the things I was looking forward to most. I didn't think I would be able to go to sleep last night since I was still  running on Utah time and I typically don't go to sleep until around three anyways, but I actually fell asleep around 12:30. When I got up this morning I felt like my mom and brothers had been waiting for me to get up. They were sitting in the kitchen with ants in their pants ready to go. We went out to breakfast at Bob Evans. Speaking of..One of the news guys on the news in Utah is named Bob Evans. When I realized that I laughed so hard. None of my roommates got it because they'd never heard of Bob Evans. Oh well. After we ate we went to Cory's. I brought the boys back home because my mom still had Christmas shopping to do. It felt so awesome to drive. Kelsey came over when I got home! I was so excited. I freaking missed my best friend. We went out to Bdubs. My mom still isn't home, which makes me a little salty. Although I got all of my Christmas presents wrapped. I love wrapping presents, but I'm so bad at it. I can't believe Christmas Eve is tomorrow! I'm so tired I could probably go to sleep right now. I just looked at the time on my laptop (Utah time) and thought why am I sitting at home? It's still early..Oh wait. I'm in Ohio. My brother is boring..He won't hang out with me. He told me to go wrap presents somewhere other than the living room because he didn't want me to disturb his tv watching. What a meanie. I hope it snows! I do hate the snow, but I haven't had a white Christmas in a few years. Remember when I said I wasn't going to worry about what I got my brothers for Christmas this year because they were ungrateful last year? Yeah well today at breakfast I was telling them I got their gifts and Andre said "Who cares, it's not like it'll be anything we want." My point. I'm supposed to go shopping at midnight tonight, I really want to, but I don't know if I'll be able to stay awake! The more I think about it, the more I want a new phone for Christmas. Not to mention mine is breaking. After hearing about all the traffic at Polaris today, I'm so glad I'm not at work this week. I'm sure it's crazy busy. Why am I so tired? I can't even keep my eyes open right now. I just realized I don't have to reconnect to the internet every time I navigate pages like at my house in Utah..Hmm how normal. 

On a Plane

I'm literally on a plane right now. I'm actually just writing this blog to be able to say I blogged on a plane. This might not turn out well though. Blogging on my ipod isn't all that easy. Oh well..I have three hours to kill. Just my luck. I would be the girl that gets stuck between the two old ladies that want to hold a conversation for three hours. I put in my head phones..Rude? Nah. This is the first time I've ever been on a plane alone. I'm not looking forward to my layover in Detroit. Barf. my suitcase was 49 lbs. Close call I'd say. I just can't wait until I get home. My mom already has my day planned out for tomorrow. I'm so excited to eat real food. This ride is getting a little bumpy..It's making me quite nervous. I brought a book on the plane..Like I'm actually going to read that ha! this plane smells like bad food and it's about 92 degrees up in here. Hmm..I don't think I have anymore complaints for now. Pretty sure the lady beside me just wanted to kick me in the throat. I just reached down to put something in my purse and hit her leg..She was asleep. I will never get sick of the song as long as you love me. I like to think it's a classic. I've had the song I'm coming home stuck in my head for days. It would be awesome if I had it on my iPod. I miss my roommates already. Ali was so cute helping me find my way around the airport this morning. I think I'm going to attmept to go to sleep now!

The Beauty of Change

The past four months I have lived in Utah have been an experience to say the least. Time has gone by so fast since I got here, yet I feel like I've lived here for years. I'm so grateful for all the wonderful experiences I've had since I've been out here. Starting from the day I left Ohio. The night I left I was a little distraught because one of my brothers wasn't there to even say goodbye to me and I had to leave a lot of my clothes behind. Once we had packed the van as full as it could get we headed off. It was a very long car ride, but I enjoyed the time with my mom and Cory. The week they were here we toured around Salt Lake and did a last minute crash course on living on my own. It all became very surreal when my mom got in the car and drove away to the airport. I wasn't sure what to do, or what I was going to do without my family. I was so happy to have Kirsten there. It was here first time on her own as well and I knew we'd figure it all out together. I was so nervous when school started. I've always been so shy, I was sure I wouldn't make any friends. Somehow I totally opened up. I was hardly shy at all. I loved all of my classes at the start. I love being able to talk about the gospel in the middle of class, and even though it's math or nutrition, the subject can change to church. Everyone that has come into my life since I've been here is amazing. In the beginning I kind of wanted to shoot myself when I found out I had six roommates, but I love every single one of them. I had to learn to love them for their differences. We all had to learn how to get along with so many different personalities. Haleigh, Kirsten, and Ali have especially helped me a lot this past semester. They have seen me at my very worst, and have still been there for me. They are the best roommates I could have asked for. Some days I've just been so annoyed or angry I could just cry, but they always make me smile. 

I've learned how to push myself out of my comfort zone and not worry about what others think. If I hadn't tried things I would have never done before I came here, I wouldn't have had half the awesome experiences that I have had. I've loved like I've never loved before, and I've been hurt like never before, but it has changed me and made me stronger. I have learned not only a lot about myself, but also about other people. Things aren't always going to work out perfectly the way I'd like them to, but in the end, it ends the way Heavenly Father intended it to. A lot of people thought that I was moving out to Utah just for a guy. Which might be kind of true, but this is how it was suppose to end up. I'm no longer going to BYU Idaho this winter. I'm still not sure exactly why, but I'm suppose to be in Utah. I mean who wouldn't want to be? The view I get as I walk every day is amazing. I get to see the capital and the temple. Oh and the mountains. You can't see them that well in the city, but once you get out of the city they're gorgeous. I'm not a huge fan of student wards, but I really like my ward. I have an awesome bishopric and everyone's testimony strengthens mine. Being around so many people from so many different backgrounds is an experience in itself. 

I've found out who I really am. Since the beginning of high school I was always trying to be someone I wasn't. I'm happy with who am really am. And everyone here likes me for who I really am as well. Instead of saying "I wish" I say "I will." I'm not afraid to take a chance. Of course taking chances doesn't always turn out the way I'd like, but it's a learning experience every time. 

What didn't I know about myself before I moved out here? Let's see..

I love college football. After I went to a BYU game, I started watching it every Saturday. All day. My roommates didn't appreciate it.

I'm a serious control freak. Okay maybe I did know that..But I seriously hate when things don't go my way, and I fight for it until they do. 

I would love to be a photographer. Kirsten and her Nikon inspired me. 

I'm not afraid of change. My life hasn't stopped changing since the day I moved out here, so I figured I better get used to it. 

I hate being alone. At my house it was nice to be alone every once in awhile just to have sometime to myself, but if I'm alone here..Wait I'm never alone. One of my roommates is always here. 

I've had some complaints from roommates that I snore. 

I actually like doing laundry. I just recently did all of Haleigh's laundry for her. Why? I'm not sure.  

I don't need to be in a relationship. I haven't not been in a relationship for more than like two weeks since my sophomore year. Being single is not a bad thing. 

I no longer like Forever 21. Working there kind of killed it for me. I don't even want to step foot in the mall when I go home. I thought going to the mall every day would be fun..Yeah that thrill wore off pretty quick. 

I like cats better than dogs. Kyle's cat, Shelby helped me decide that. 

Meeting new people is fun. I wasted way too much time being shy my whole life. 

It's okay to ask for help. People are willing to help if you ask. That kind of goes along with being shy. 

Blogging helps relieve a lot of stress. :)

I should have been more grateful for my mom and my house. When I get home, I'm going to roll around on the floor. Just because the carpet at my house is actually clean enough to do that.

Frozen dinners do make you gain weight. Even if you do walk everywhere.  

I'm not sure what the future holds for me out here in Utah. I just know that moving 1,708 miles away from home has turned about to be more of a blessing than I ever imagined. I miss home and I can't wait to go back tomorrow, but I love it out here. I'm so thankful for Heavenly Father guiding me out here. I can't wait to see what next semester has in store for me. I know it will be just as amazing as this semester. College life feels like one big sleep over sometimes and some days I'm just so exhausted I don't think I can go on, but all the fun I have, it's worth it. I'm going to have fun now and live my life to the fullest. I'm just going along for the ride and seeing where it takes me. There's no hurry for anything and no reason to fret when things don't go exactly as planned. This time last year I was so upset because I didn't get on fall track for BYU, now look where it has gotten me. Like I said, I'm still not sure why but I know there's a reason I'm out here in Utah. 

Tell the World I'm coming Home

I will be home in less than two days! I'm so excited! Although a little nervous. I haven't been on a plane in quite sometime. Not to mention it's snowing here and in Ohio. If my flight gets delayed even by five minutes I will throw a fit right in the middle of the airport. They will be so scared they'll send me on my next immediate flight to Columbus. These past few days have been interesting. I'm officially exhausted. People have been keeping me up until wee hours of the morning these past couple of nights. I haven't played truth or dare for like seven years, then all of the sudden I play it two nights in a row. The most intense part of the game was me getting the bottom of my foot licked. Saturday Davey Wavey came to visit me! I missed him. Oh and I got to see Sadie at the mall. It wasn't for long, but I'll see her probably this week when I get home. Haleigh and I are all moved in together. I never thought I'd get that room organized,  but it does look quite cute. Haleigh is at home right now. :( So I'm literally all alone..Not a huge fan. Everyone is out of town. Ali might still be at work, but she might also be house sitting for someone in West Jordan. I surely hope not. I do not want to be home alone all night. I actually had to get up pretty early this morning. I had to work at 9:30. Someone called off while I was there so Kevin assumed I would be okay with taking their shift, so I went back in from 6:30 to close. I work again tomorrow morning for Haleigh. I hope they don't freaking schedule me again for the days I requested off. I'm scared to find out tomorrow. The last thing I want to be worrying about over break is Forever 21 in Salt Lake City. Geez. My mind is being consumed by him. I can't stand it. No matter what I'm doing I'm always thinking about him. At work I can't wait to go on my ten to see if he's texted me. Of course he usually hasn't, which just makes it worse. I wonder what he's doing and if he ever even thinks about me. I almost cried at work today because we got in a stock of sweatshirts with his favorite football team on them. It takes me forever to fall asleep at night because he doesn't text me goodnight anymore. I don't understand why we can't just start over. I know it can work. It doesn't have to be today, tomorrow, or even next week. I just need him there. Just to say hi. He promised it'd be okay. Liar. I'm not okay. Santa flies in five days.

Five Days!

Bad news: Kirsten Williams is gone. :( She left yesterday afternoon. Good news: I'm officially done with my first semester of college! Yay! Yesterday after Kirsten left Haleigh and I went to the store with Andrew. He made us dinner. It wasn't too bad! We ended up in a tape fight with Kirsten's moving tape. I think Haleigh and I lost that fight. After Andrew left, Haleigh and I started moving her stuff into my room. I think we both realized how much unnecessary stuff we both have with us. We didn't finish before we were both ready to pass out. I have a HUGE pile of laundry waiting for me. Kirsten left a lot of random stuff here that we need to clean out of her room. I had to work today from one to five. I thought that I would be up on time because Haleigh had to be at the Gateway at 11:30. Wrongo. We both over slept. I didn't wake up until 12:30. Thank goodness Ali was still home or I would have had to sprint to work. It was really busy today. I'm so glad I was on cash register. I'm surprised they didn't send me home though. I was coughing up a lung when I first got there. My voice is coming back though. I was suppose to go sledding tonight, but I bailed because having a cold and going sledding wouldn't be the best idea ever. I was so happy when I got home, one of my roommates had made tacos for dinner. What a sweetheart. Sadie is coming to Salt Lake tomorrow to fly home. She better come visit me. I'm so excited to go home! Five days! I'm so mad. I don't understand what the point of requesting work off is when they just freaking scheduled me anyways. Dub tee eff. Thankfully I already got someone to cover me for next Wednesday because I'll be in OHIO. Stupid Forever 21. I feel like taking a nap. If I take a nap I won't wake up until like eleven which means I'll be up all night. I'd be productive though..cleaning. David Archuleta is preforming with Mormon Tabernacle Choir any minute now. :( Why aren't I there?! My mom just asked me if I would rather have plain or peanut m&m's. I have been telling her for the past 18 years that I don't like m&m's. She always assumes I do because I eat them when we have them. Well yeah, they're chocolate..Of course I'll eat them if we have them, but they surely aren't my first choice. Oh my goodness..Christmas is basically in one week! I can't believe it. This year went by so fast. I'm not as excited for Christmas this year as I usually am. Maybe because I'm just excited to go home, so that overrides the Christmas joy. I finally got my brother's gifts yesterday. I still need to get my mom something else. Oh and Kelsey. Rats. If girls always fall for guys that are jerks..Does that mean if a girl is mean to a guy he'll like her more? Hmm. Despite the fact that I've been at Forever 21 all day, I feel like going back to go shopping. I don't have anything better to do. And I got paid today! :)

Sleepless in Salt Lake

Today was my last day of IT 102. By some miracle I passed the test! I've been waiting for that class to be over since the day it started. So yesterday I sat with the same book in my hands from about noon until 5:30. I read 23 pages...Needless to say I was somewhat distracted. I felt like today was very productive. I got my nutrition quizzes completed, I did my IT project basically all by myself, and  I enjoyed another communications class with Haleigh. Oh last night we went to Denny's at midnight. Gross. I remember now why I don't eat there. I should probably go to sleep like right now. I have to get up in the morning and write a four page paper, but I can't sleep, I can never sleep. I'm missing out on a photo shoot right now with Kirsten, Haleigh, and Ali. They're having fun, but I had my doubts about the legitimacy of the whole thing. There was just something sketchy about it, so I didn't go. I'm eating vegetable soup right now. If I die, it's because I had a heart attack. It is so salty! Dub tee eff. I'm in love. There is no doubt about it in my mind. It actually keeps me up at night most of the time. He is all I ever think about. Literally. No matter what anyone else tells me, I just can't stand not being with him. Oh speaking of not caring about what people tell me, I just realized in the past few days how much I hate hypocrites. I don't think I've ever been around such a hypocrite, and quite frankly it's driving me nuts. The world does not revolve around people and their rude selfishness. I don't cry as much as a used to. Maybe college has made me toughen up! Ha. I did cry today though. I kind of held it in, but I honestly just wanted to sob. I still at this moment just want to cry. I just want to scream I love you in his face. I'm dreading this weekend. I'll be worried all Thursday night, ALL day Friday, and into the morning Saturday. I miss the good old days when I was in love with Patrick Sheppard. And the only reason he didn't like me back was because I had glasses. This blog makes no sense. "Love is not just about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning, but how much love you build till the end."